The fear of offending

Beginner writers often fear offending people if they write what they really want to write.  I know. I did it. Like everyone else. I was afraid to come out as the real me. For years I hid the fact that I have a spiritual connection because I came from a background where education and intellect were worshiped. Intuition wasn’t. Even as I write, I still fear being ridiculed by all those academic writers who value logic over reason. I can reason all right. I used to be a corporate lawyer and a damn good one as well. But.. and it is a big but, what made me the best lawyer was the combination of my intuition and my intellect. Because I had been raised in a family that despised intuition and believed that intuition lowers the intellect, I was conflicted. It took me years to own my truth. I am here to show people who are ready to see it that combining intuition with intelligence takes you to your highest potential. In fact, in my world, intelligence comes from intuition but that’s a subject for another blog.

So why are beginning writers so afraid to offend?

It could be that they think they should write to please everyone to get more sales, or that they are afraid of being judged, or for memoir writers that their friends and family will get offended. These are all valid fears. They are real. Ask any seasoned writers and they have pissed off a lot of people but here is why you should and must go beyond your fear of offending: you need to be authentic and you can’t be authentic if you hold back on what you have to write. Let me explain.

You are not for everyone.

Don’t try to please everyone.

The world needs YOUR voice and if you are too afraid to stand out, the world won’t find you. The RIGHT people won’t find you. And the haters and the people who want to be offended will get offended anyway because you know as well as I do that those who want to get offended will. Right?

Ask seasoned writers about the letters they receive from complete strangers who accuse them of revealing details about their lives. Ask them about those hate letters. But at the end of the day: none of this matters. You must write what you have come here to write. Does that make sense?

You must write the book that is meant to change the life of one person but aggravate others. You need to be BRAVE. You need to have the courage to STAND OUT. So do it. Write that first draft as if no one was going to read it. Give yourself that much freedom to explore what you really have to say.

I moved countries, write in a language that is not my native language and use a pen name to give myself that freedom. And still, I tend to hold myself back. Nowadays, it is not my family that I am afraid of offending. I don’t even tell them what I am writing. It is the internet troll who is going to write an offensive comment on one of my blogs. But there is one thing I learned by being in the online business and that is that you need to be authentic and that there will always be haters. In fact, some coaches encourage you to celebrate your first hater as the sign that you are becoming visible.

BEING BRAVE is one of the topics we will explore in the first module of my six month online writing masterclass for fabulous inspirational writers. It starts on the 1st June. To join the masterclass, contact me through my Facebook page.

To your writing,

(c) 2017 Ange de Lumiere


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